When it comes to healthcare, many of us face challenges. There is a shortage of practitioners, appointments are tough to come by and the ability to find a provider who is expert and personable can be difficult. For women, finding an understanding medical professional for reproductive and sexual health can pose even more difficult challenges.

“Sexual health can be difficult for many of us to discuss.  It can be even harder for people with developmental and intellectual disabilities,” Kate Napolitano, Wildwood’s Sexuality Educator says. “Understanding the complex nature of sexual health, birth control and the choices that go along with sexuality can be hard for any of us but especially when you have a disability.”

It would be wrong to assume that all healthcare providers take into consideration a person’s disability.It is important for women with disabilities to be able to be understood and for them to be presented information and choices about their healthcare in ways that they can understand.

“Many times a healthcare provider will face and speak to a parent of a staff member rather than speak directly to the woman patient. This may help,  but make a person feel disrespected and when that happens that person will become reluctant to ask questions or get clarification on medical principles they don’t understand,” Kate says.

In our society doctors and medical professionals are held in high esteem. This causes many of us to not question their behavior or to take their advice and opinions as absolute truth. Medicine isn’t black and white however and many recommendations come with nuance. It isn’t unusual for patients to become intimidated by their medical provider.

“It is important to remember that when it comes to medical appointments, you are the customer. This is a service they are getting paid for and they should look to meet your needs,” Kate says. “Their work is important but at times you may need to be assertive to get your needs met.”

There are things you can do to prepare for a medical appointment to help someone in your life who has a disability. 

“I recommend standing behind a person you’re supporting when meeting with a medical practitioner and asking the provider to speak directly to the person there for the appointment that they make eye contact with that person,” Kate says. “I also suggest that you come prepared with a list of questions and concerns you might have about your health and how this process or course of care will go.”

Some medical practitioners will also make assumptions about a person with disability’s choices about their sexual health and even assume that they aren’t sexually active because of their disability. Issues surrounding birth control, pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and overall sexual health must not be trivialized. If a health care professional seems to operate with such preconceived notions it might be best to find a more informed and sensitive professional.

“Everyone’s sexuality is an important part of who they are. We are all unique individuals and we should be respected for who we are,” Kate says.

Some important points to consider when it comes to healthcare:

• When making an appointment for the first time with a new provider, do not be afraid to ask questions about the provider. You can ask questions about their philosophy of service delivery and if they have experience working with women with disabilities.
• If you prefer meeting with a female doctor over a male doctor, it is best to make that clear when making an appointment.
• One of the best ways to be prepared for and to have a successful visit with a doctor is to discuss it beforehand, by knowing why you are going to the appointment, what questions you want answered, and who is best to go on the visit with you.
• One of the best ways to empower someone at a doctors appointment is by asking them what will make them comfortable or how you can help them take the lead at an appointment. Before going to a doctor’s appointment, make sure to ask the person who is going and who they are most comfortable having at the appointment. Ask them if they are comfortable with you going in the exam room with them. If the person going to the appointment is not comfortable having someone in the exam room, you may want to discuss with the person about a list of questions to ask or to type out questions for the individual to bring into the exam room with.
• It is also important to have the conversation with the person going on the appointment who they would be comfortable with you being their healthcare proxy so that you may call the doctor and ask questions, when needed.